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Sunday, December 03, 2006
12:48 AM
i knew this week wasnt really going to be a good week. though i did have a few good fun moments of this week, on the whole i felt really sucky inside. just need somewhere to let it out. no offence to anyone, espcially to you. i dont mean anything. (:
this week was a busy week too, rushing for shoots after class or rushing to class from shoots. it was TP Rawks! this week, so VC had to cover the events. somehow i felt pretty redundant, as in i wasnt really much needed. i felt the photos i took arent good at all, as compared to the other VC event photographers, which includes VC comm members. i aint up to standard. i just hope that at least just one of the pictures would be of use, that would be enough. (: i also felt pretty awkward too, just cant explain why though.
i guess that it is because i just dont have confidence in myself. and it is because i still am finding something that i am good at. i feel i have failed in everything that i want to do and aspire to do. unlike many who knows what they are good at. though i may like something that doesnt mean i am good at it or i can achieve it. take music for example, i do love music, yet i cant seem to be able to play any muscial instrument i love. like piano, i failed my grade 1 practical. guitar, my hands are way too small to reach the freeds. art, i cant draw, i cant paint for nuts. poems, i sorta got laughed at last time for the way i wrote. now photography, somehow i feel i dont have the support of people that i really wish can support me. studies, things i wanted to be all went down the drain. now i study so hard but i am not getting the grades that i want to while some others are getting better grades them me though it seems like i put in more effort. so get what i mean by i dont have confidence. i am tired of putting so much into in yet i dont see any result.
during the week, on thursday i cried in the bathe and later in front of my lappie. i was just pretty upset over somethings plus the fact that i sorta argued with my mum over a small thing. i guess the tears that i have been trying to hold back just flowed that night.
friday, friday night was fun, went for jam and hop with some of the VC comm members. we were there to cover the event and i had fun. that night made me smile (: that was one good thing over the whole week. (:
you being there is the best thing the whole week (:
but oh wells, i am glad that week was over, i hope this coming week will be better though there is still lots more to do.
off to sleep now. got lots of things to do tmr (:
ps. i hope no offence is taken
<3 broken never mended ;
