nothingsatisfies.

lappie died on me

Sunday, July 23, 2006

3:32 PM

as you can see from my entry title, my laptop is spoilt. i gotta get it fixed soon. ): some of my pictures and songs would be gone. the pictures that i am pretty sad that would be gone are those that i took during colour expedition. my first ever pictures taken, are gone ): well at least i did back up some of my documents last time. only the recent ones are gone. come to think of it, thank goodness i got a thumbdrive so all my school work is in it. i think :/ i tried to turn on the lappie but it just wont, so i cant find anyway to back up my files. oh wells. i just hope my laptop would be up and running again.

yesterday was black and white expedition, i had fun (: first expedition as a committee member, not that i did anything as a committee member other then collect money and handed out rolls of flims. i was the only committee member taking pictures for the darkroom session on thurs as this is my first time doing this. and i didnt get to finish one roll of flim (: thank you serena for lending me your camera, but i forgot to check if it was on auto focus, i only realised much later. so i guess those pictures i took at the beginning will turn out all blurred! yikes! wasted, i took pictures of kids playing at the fountain. i think it would be nice if it was black and white. hopefully, it would turn out fine *cross fingers*

anyway, this week has been pretty rough yet once again. but i am glad that i still managed to pull through and i still managed to have some really great time. like yesterday (: although yesterday during lunch, jie smsed me and told me that on friday, a nurse called mum and told her that her blood test resutls werent that good and she needed to see a doctor as soon as possible. jie said mum knows what it is and she doesnt seem like she wants to see a doctor anytime soon. upon seeing that sms, i felt my whole world just stop again. although the night before i knew something wasnt right when mum was talking to dad something about her going to the doctors. but the words" mum knows what it is" got me thinking what it could be. it got me thinking what she thought it was. i dont want it to be what i also think it is. i got scared. but thank goodness, i didnt show it. i didnt want anyone to worry. i was pretty much okay after awhile. thanks to you (:

jie went to the doctors on thurs, her blood test results arent that good too. sigh ): this new doctor that she is seeing is going to give her some medication that will make her feel really unwell. he said that this is so balance her tyroidcine level or something like that. oh and he said that most probably the internal bleeding is from her stomach. well at least he is able to tell rather than those doctors that cant! i just hope this doctor can help my sister and make her feel better.

i guess people who are reading my blog must wonder why am i always blogging about such sad things, well, my life is pretty much like that. it has been like that for the past 6 years. many dont believe that this is true. many think we are making it up and trying to get people's sympathy. well, we dont need that. seriously if people to dont believe us it is okay but yet they dont have to say such things. facts are facts, we all wish it more than you do that all this is just made up, that all this is a dream but it is not. and we are the ones going through this and not anyone else. you wont know how disgusting and yucky this is. so much so that sometimes i wonder why is it that my family have to go through all this shit. what do we get at the end of the day?

oh wells, at least, i still have school and still have you to keep my mind off things at home, before reality hits me again.

and to my cheryl dearie, how are you? i havent been talking to you in really long. i missed you so much. i hope you are doing fine my dear (: all the best in your studies! love you!

<3 broken never mended ;