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trying to forget you`
is like trying to remember someone you never met
trying to let you go
`is like trying to keep something which i never attained
thought provoking;
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
11:30 PM
staying too much at home isnt all that good. it makes you think alot. well actually, people will say even if i dont stay home much i will still be thinking alot. you cant blame me for having a brain that never stops working!
recently, i have been thinking alot about what i want to do next time. dreams and ambitions that i had has all been shattered a long time ago and now i am too afraid to even dream for fear that these dreams will once again be turned into dust. here are some silly ambitions that i once had.
i ever once wanted to be a pastor, standing up there on the pulpit, giving sermons that will touch people's lives. i think i can deliever sermons that are long thanks to my naggy nature :p but sermons that will touch lives, that i dont think i can ever do. i aint good with words.
next i ever wanted to be a social worker, i wanted to help people cos many has helped my family. i too want to touch their lives like how others have touched my family's lives. i want to listen and to be there for these people and tell them that i too had gone through alot. i want to tell them that i know how they feel and that i know it isnt easy. i want to ease their load, i want to listen to them. listening i can do, but i dont think i can be a good social worker! a pig like me wont run around that much! haha!
i wanted to be a psychologist, i wanted to listen to people and need not have to run around and yet get paid! this was the one thing i really wanted to be. but i guess my dreams were dashed when i couldnt get into a JC and ended up in a poly. actually, my lectures ever did say that taking law now might get me a place in FASS, which i can major in psychology but i think that isnt really what mum wants. she wants me to get into the law faculty. oh wells, seriously i dont want to hope and dream anymore. i guess i will just take things as it is (: and plus, i cant seem to find what am i good at, unlike my sister she is very good at art. she can write really well too and plus she is street smart. unlike me, i cant even draw for nuts, i cant write, i cant do anything! and my mum always say i am not street smart ): so i really dont know what am i supposed to do and what am i doing here. i really think i will just take things as it is.
i realise that all i ever wanted to do was to just help people, to listen to people. hmmm... is there a job where i can just help people and yet get a little paid for it too but need not a high degree or something (: i wonder!
oh wells, talked to louis last night, it has been long since i last talked to him and yes he is still always knocking some sense into me (: i am really glad that i have him as my friend. someone whom i can really talk to. i miss all my secondary school friends esp cjo, sia and louis. one point in time we used to be close that i could tell them lots of stuff but i guess now we are busy with our own lives. but it is still nice that no matter what, i still can talk to them on msn. no matter what there will still be something that we can talk about and not just hi and bye. i miss them so much (: i wish that in secondary school i was closer to them, but still that is okay. i know i have you guys as my friend is enough. and know that you guys have me as your friend. i will always be here to listen to you guys, tho i might not give any good advice cos i am not good with words (: not much help huh!
but anyway, i will try to help!
this goes to anyone out there too (: if you need someone to just listen and maybe give a little bit of advice I AM HERE!
love you loads! (:
<3 broken never mended ;
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