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trying to forget you`
is like trying to remember someone you never met
trying to let you go
`is like trying to keep something which i never attained

it's you
you who have won my heart
taken me into your arms
comforted me like a friend
your love
surrounded me from the start
i never want to be apart
from you ever again

christian bautista lyrics
lyrics site


satisfaction.
my poems. my deviant art. aiken (: amanda sweets. cheryl darling. cheryljo dearie. debby sweets. jazzie dearie. louis (: rachel sweets. serena sweets. sharyl sweets. sheena (:

broken memories.
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006

mending.



i am more determined now than ever to let you go

Friday, September 09, 2005
9:55 PM

this is just gonna be another random entry again. need to let things outta of my system again. ya i know i got lots of stuff to let out.
Been thinking alot these few days again, and i realised that i am such a failure. i fail at every single thing that i do. i have been dragging this entry since i think two days ago. i dont know how to put what i want to say in words. i never know how to express myself. but no matter what i am gonna get it out of my system today no matter what!

recently my mother told me that God kept me alive as there is a purpose for it but i dont see what purpose is there in this life. what good is going to come out of all this. how is He gonna use me when i will eventually just fail and everything will just come to dust. why didn't i just go like that why did He have to make me well. even if He have to keep me alive, why didn't leave me to be what the doctors said i would be. won't that be so much better, at least i dont have to feel this way, i wont have to worry about alot things this way my brain won't have to keep on working when i dont want it to. argh!

seriously i feel like i am such a failure in every espect of my life;

i am such horrible friend
i can never help then when they are in need;
i can never do things right and well;
i can never get anyone to except me just for me
i can never live up to people expections
and most importantly, i can live up to His expectations of me
i am not worthy to be his daughter.

simply i am a horrible friend, a horrible daughter to my parents, to God, a horrible sister! sigh-


anw, exams are over. yay! one thing good. but now i dont know what am i to do at home. haha! am deciding if i should go to church tmr i dont want to see you and another but i want to go cos it is where i can be myself. sorta. where i can let go.

i am more determined now than ever to let you go, to forget you.
but it is not gonna be easy cos you are always on my mind.

okay time for replies;
cheryl dearie;
thanks so much tho i feel really bad that i can never be of any help to you. but know that i will always be behind you in whatever you do! and that i love you so much!

serena;
thanks for always making me smile (:

OH and happy birthday debby`!


<3 broken never mended ;

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